A Touching Letter from my Mentor

I couldn’t help but cry when I read this one day I was soo tired from work. It’s only barely a week now and I do understand why my teammates would want to take VLs at this time… I anticipate some very rough days ahead of them while they adjust to my absence… They had become so dependent on my guidance and decisions.. I do really feel for them..
here’s the letter I got from my boss in Salt Lake… my professional and personal mentor

Mei –

You are an Angel!

Thank you for your kind comments.  I REALLY hope that something works out for you in the SYD office.  If I can be of any help in that area, please let me know.  I would be glad to put forth the highest recommendation possible for you.  I think you have the best balance & experience in so many areas (functional, technical, social, etc…) on our team.  You really are irreplaceable.

A good analogy of how I feel is: If you take a cup of water & put your finger in it then pull your finger out, the water instantly backfills the gap, but your leaving CM will be a very noticeable gap, that will always have a void. 

I’m very happy for you & your family & for the new adventure that awaits you.  From the bottom of MY heart, I sincerely wish you & your family all the success, joy and happiness in the world.  You deserve it Mei & I hope you’ll always know that you’ve really been an outstanding employee & friend.  You should be proud of all you accomplished during your time at Navitaire and the positive impact you had on our company.  I will greatly miss you Mei – and … the scriptures you put at the end of your e-mails!! J

I hope you’ll keep in touch and if by chance you do end up working for SUS DBA’s that you’ll continue to help CM out! J 

YOU’RE THE BEST!

-Z

I’d like to save this and post it because I know I’ll need this inspiration one way or the other when I do face the new challenges ahead of me…

Our bundle of Joy – Victorious Prince “Yonky”

RHYON KLARENZ DE GUIA CABAUATAN aka “YONKY”

¤ For those of you wondering where we got the name of our bundle of joy… here is a brief explanation.

♦RHYON comes from RYN of RYAN and HON of HONEYLOU, it is also a variation of RYAN which means “little prince”

♦KLARENZ is a variation of clarence which means “VICTORIOUS”

“iniba lang spelling para unique ehehehe”

¤ saan ko sya pinaglihi?

“sa hotdog and spaghetti (tuloy ang bilis nya pumula pagdi nabibigay ang gusto)”

MOTHERHOOD:

As I was being stiched back up after the surgery, I was kind of groggy and uncomfortable because I was feeling the pressure of whatever it is the doctors were doing on my abdomen…nevertheless…as I heard Yonky’s hearty cry, I wanted to laugh. It was an overwhelming feeling, I felt relieved from that cry..which sounded healthy (mother’s instinct?), and I’m so happy he is alive… at that moment that’s all that matters. When they brought him to me, I didn’t even know if it was safe for me to kiss him since I might have dirt and blood hehehe, silly me since of course the room was sterile

I felt strong (although my mom gave a lot of restrictions even on food that I eat and things that I do to make sure I will not relapse)… and Yonky was my motivation in taking my first walk after the cesarean delivery because I was forbidden by the nursery staff to breastfeed my baby until I can walk to the breastfeeding room and carry my baby standing up (they were afraid I might collapse while holding the baby so as a precaution they wanted to make sure I can handle myself first)

As a mom… I never worry for another person’s life before until now. I’m always carefree, risk-taker and only consider myself whenever I make decisions. Even as a wife, never ako ngheld back if I wanted something although I’m trying to change that as well… granted I love my family and friends and always wish them well… but when you already have your own child…. iba pala, constant worry for his well being ang mafefeel. Sabi nga ni Kaan, sobra akong nerbyosa kaya instead na alam na daw nya gagawin kay Yonky pagfeeling ko tipong emergency na, nawawala na din sya sa sobrang panic ko for Yonky)

But then, when it comes to the joy that he brings in my life… heaven… Even a mere tenth of a second ago my temper was on the boiling point..when I glance at my baby’s face… all the worries and tantrums that I’m going through suddenly vanishes. It is also a blessing that Yonky is such a GOOD baby boy… he seldoms cry (doesn’t cry and sometimes only fuss a little when he has a pupu, or his diaper is wet) and mostly only cries when he’s hungry…(talagang matakaw eh, kaya siguro ang takaw ko din nung buntis ako… at kaya kontento sya sa tyan ko at ayaw lumabas on time dahil sa kakakain ehehe =))

Right now, due to the hot weather, he really enjoys having baths and kaan and I enjoy giving him baths ourselves since okay na pusod nya kaya di na nakakatakot. As parents, we are very hands-on..only seeking help for circumstances that we’re not familiar with like how to clean his navel after we got back from the hospital or what to do when he seems unable to breathe (icclean lng pala ung booger nya with buds). After we saw what needs to be done, next time around kami na gumagawa. Rotation din kami mgfeed and maghele kay Yonky…. although at the moment, I think Yonky favors Kaan more kasi sinasayaw sya ni Kaan when putting him to sleep and I only got to do that as well yesterday (Monday – Yonky’s 3rd week) because before the pressure on my stitches made me feel uncomfortable standing up holding Yonky.

We love our son so much and we’re thankful for the opportunity to cuddle and care for him day by day and I always pray that he’ll grow up to be God fearing, happy and healthy individual.

Just counting the days…

It’s been a long wait… and now at just my 28th week, I’ve already gained almost 30 lbs…whew!!! (can I regain my old pre-pregnancy weight?…oops but that’s for another topic)… Right now, my baby seems like he’s up all day dancing and rolling or just simply stretching his cute little feet and legs, which to me feels like he’s having a party inside my tummy. c";)

I think he got stress as well wh en I’m stressed out at work cause during those times… I rarely feel him…but it’s easy to pacify him and that’s when I eat his favorite foods yum yum… those times i feel him smiling, just like his dad. Both kaan & I can’t wait for yonky’s 32nd week so we can finally see him again through the 4-D ultrasoud technology…. just 4 more weeks to go…

Though his arrival is not planned… it is definitely a blessing, I can’t imagine how close my baby and I have become because of him. I’ve seen another good side of his dad which I’ll never have imagined… him being so patient and supportive and cajoling…massaging my backaches and leg cramps so I can have a good night sleep which is so hard to come by nowadays. We’ve shopped and took on a lot of projects at home to make it as baby-friendly and welcoming to yonky as possible… so exciting!

See you soon our darling yonky…daddy and mommy loves you

Love Triangle

We have just completed our first couple’s retreat and early valentine celebration..thanks to our church CCF for organizing the event @ Legend Villas in Mandaluyong.  We thought we had a problem… but reality bites, don’t we know anything? It was a humbling and enriching experience for kaan & I to know how powerful GOD works in marriages as early as now (being married for 4 months) as we listened about the lives and experiences of other couples, some married for 4-30 years, others starting like us as early as 45 days in their married lives…. Their experiences…some really painful and I can’t even fathom that they’ve been through so much yet still together…never thought anybody deserved to suffer like that…but GOD used those phases in their lives to mold them into where they are today…strong in faith and better people…. being great testimonies of faith and blessings to other couples and families.

The importance of LOVE TRIANGLE among GOD, the HUSBAND, and the WIFE, with GOD on top was imparted by speakers and discussed in breakout groups through 4 important topics

1.) Blueprint of GOD’s Design (roles of hubsand and wife)

2.) True Forgiveness

3.) Communication and Marital Intimacy

4.) Empowerment through Building a Legacy (…legacy of faith in GOD)

Kaan & I learned our love languages… mine are quality time and receiving gifts, his is physical touch….also had the most romantic night – candlelight dinner, renewal of vows, and sweet-dancing. Our 4 months hadn’t been all butterflies and sweet nothings, to reflect… really hadn’t been that easy…but I must say, GOD really give us the answers every step of the way, working perfectly in HIS own perfect timing.

Our Wedding Escapade

Our 3-day-2-night wedding affair became one great ADVENTURE —literally! There were some  elements of comedy, action, drama and romance heheheh. It all started on Sept 27, 2006… PAGASA announced Manila under signal #2 due to typhoon Milenyo. By Sept 28, Manila was forecasted Signal #3…. Our wedding coordinator instructed all of us (entourage and guests) to still go to the airport to make sure we can all get a refund if the flight is cancelled. So amidst the rain and winds….off to the airport we go. Our flight was scheduled 7:10am that day but by 7:00am…we could alreay hear the winds blowing furiously outside the airport terminal. All flights were cancelled…and we were all laughing as we get ready for a "take two" of our flight the next morning. The joke was one me as the guests said my weddng is "meme"rable instead of memorable hehehe

Sept 29… we got the shock of our lives as we boarded the very small 19-seater SEAIR plane. We passed some drizzle along the way and the plane shook enough to cause some panic among us. But after the nervous-wrecking plane ride, bumpy jeep ride, endless boat rides, calauit (little africa in palawan) safari tour adventure and misadventures hhehehe, seeing giraffes and zebras among others, the total blackness after the boat ride from calauit where the night and rain engulfed us…the saying goes " sa hinabahaba man daw ng prosisyon…sa simbahan din ang tuloy"…

Sept 30 the eventful day…..yiheee…all the craziness and bloopers that could happen… happened heheheh. After the wedding, we went to the picture perfect Club Paradise for snorkeling and swimming….then ended the day with the luau party —singing, dancing and having a great time.

Oct 1 — we went kayaking and banana boat riding…then kaan and I boarded Superferry for our return trip to Manila. All in all, I enjoyed everything: the pampering of the resort staffs, the sumptuous meals, endless pictorial of the beautiful view, the awe-inspiring blue-green waters of club paradise, the giant pawikans during our snorkeling, the memorable and crazy taking of pictures at calauit…..the luau and touching messages of our guests, the surprise performance numbers, mawi clinging on the banana boat for dear life after potchacks and I fell from it ehheehhe…. and many many more

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE PRAYERS…. TO GOD BE THE GLORY

Babalik Ka Rin…

A chapter has ended… now in some sort of segue to face the ghosts of the past, the life that I just promptly left behind which I assumed I can do without a backward glance…More than a year had passed since I made Florida my pit stop in this roller-coaster saga I call my life…parang kailan lang…

I’m flying above Florida, taking pictures of the clouds through the airplane’s window… admiring the view – the greeneries (that I found out to be palm trees after the plane landed) and the lushness blue color of the sea  – telling myself this is heaven and I’m gonna thrive here. I  still recall Tito Niel & Tita Fe alternately driving me to & from work until I can finally rent Tito Allan’s car & until I can muster enough courage to take on Florida’s freeway driving; taking my then 10-year old cousin Huey wherever I go so he can show me the way and thus avoid getting lost hehehe; my cousin Neil’s endless stories of his girls in myspace that eventually got me hooked to that website ahaha; and getting used to the loneliness and my new home & family…. & their extended family & friends, struggling to match the correct name to the right person heheheh.

A stranger-turned-friend from myspace influenced me to believe that I can always learn something from people, regardless of age, gender, religion and race & even if we have opposing and totally different personalities…hence, I became voracious in observing folks in action especially with how they interact with me… really captivating. I appreciated the personalities (even if they can also be annoying at times) of the people that allowed me to be part of their lives, even for just a while … Even if I’m tough, I’ll miss

Huey’s “ateh mei are you gay?” Heheh and his innocent but brutally honest remarks “you look sooo white” (when I’m still practicing how to put on make-up) and “bakit nakapantulog ka” (when we went to attend Sta. Cruzan & I’m dressed in my favorite straight pink dress) ouch hehehehe…

Neil’s “ateh mei padrive ng kotse” with his ever pacute face & almost gay-like smile hahahah and “ateh mei maganda ba?” (referring to his new conquest in myspace)  and “ate mei malaki na ba?” (referring to his bouncer-like arms that he still wants to be bigger) heheheh.

Tita Fe’s “ineng kumain ka na ba?” or “ipinagluto kita kasi paborito mo yan di ba” & the Pink perfume from Victoria’s secret which she gave me on Christmas just because I happen to mention that I like the smell of it (in passing) a month or so ago & even if they already gave me a cell phone. Tito Niel’s  “ano isa pa ineng?” (hehehe for another glass of his famous margarita drink) and his delicious spicy meals that always made me forget my diet regimen. Ate Alice’s phone calls, her "Kamusta.. Siyempre pinagdadasal kita", her advices and support, and our telebabad about anything and everything.

Tita Anet’s “shopping tayo sa sabado mei?” or “picture tayo” heheheh; Kelcey’s “Tita mei, I’m bored” (always expecting me to play with her) “You always look almost perfect” (admiring my accessories, kikay clothes, my teeth & my then pimple-free face), “I want to show you my millsberry and neopets” or recently just to get my attention because she knew I don’t like to hear it, she would always say “You have pimples hehehe” ; Rina’s “Can you sign this?” (after I drew her a picture of a girl, thinking I’m a professional artist hehehe) or “Your house is so pretty..Can you help me with mine?.. I think you should be a designer” ( after showing her my house in millsberry); Merlin’s “panget, mgkahoo” & his guitar skills; Mark’s “metrohomo” & his other funny antics and ridiculous dance moves hahaha.

Jojie’s “sis, ok ka lang?” and her Friendster messages, texts, and help in finding a makeup artist for my wedding. Daysi’s life and love stories & our other conversations whenever the bosses were out of the office heheheeh; Joseph’s childish & silly marriage proposals to make me smile whenever he sees that I’m bored; Frank’s “crazy crazy” whenever he messes up and can’t explain what he wanted in English because he’s more comfortable speaking in Spanish hehehehe; Tito Ed V’s renditions of old OPMs that always break the siesta silence; and Silvio’s “Take more, you need to eat more” (whenever he offers me the yummy Cuban Danish breads with rich creamy fillings that I can’t resist to eat).

Then there were the trips to the beach, the cheerful family parties – seeing familial love growing and enjoying each other’s company despite intrigues and misunderstandings – two deaths, 1 hurricane, long distance relationship, learning to play guitar, engagement, long distance wedding preparations, 2 despedida parties, lots of tears and laughs…

Parang Kailan lang…

Now it is almost time for me to fly blindly but trustingly again to a new adventure where God will lead me.  To the people I encountered in Florida, I’d say Adios Amigo, Sayonara, Chay Wey… Though this is not goodbye, only See You Again Soon…

And to the people I’ll come home to in the Philippines, I’ll say Hello loved ones; the prodigal daughter is back…. Again!!! c";) But despite these bittersweet recollections, who am I kidding right? I just can’t stop myself from daydreaming about the day when I can finally see Kaan again, him waiting at the airport and finally hugging me tightly after being separated for 15 months!…whispering in my ears “Welcome back mahal ko” AYUS!!!

Key West August 13, 2006

Key West, FL is the southernmost part of the US. It is famous for its breath-taking beaches and Cuban migrants who fled Fidel Castro’s communist government to seek free society & US residency through the Wet Feet/Dry Feet Policy (according to tito jun & confirmed by wikepedia…just correct me if my unerstanding is all wrong…since the southernmost tip of Key West is just 90 more miles from Cuba, some Cubans actually tried to escape their country quietly by boats and sometimes even rafts for 3 days and risked dying and being eaten by sharks… (nyaks!) para makaapak sa US dry land bago sila mahuli ng US coast guards while still on the waters to avoid being sent back to Cuba; if they successfully crossed over, then they can qualify for residency after a year and eventually US citizenship)

So this tour is my last Florida outing for this chapter in my  life and I’m glad my tita fe and tito niel brought me here together with tito niel’s brother tito chito who is visiting the US from Italy. Tito Edwin’s and Tito Buchoy’s families also came with us since they haven’t been to Key West as well. We just took some pictures in the southernmost point tourist rock, mallory square shopping area, and Ernest Hemingway’s( who i didn’t know was cuban) home. The kids went to Ripley’s and the rest of us went to buy some souvenirs. Parasailing costs $30/person so it’s a lot cheaper than the cost in Bora but unfortunately we didn’t get to experience it because of time constraint and unprepared outfit. To those planning to visit Miami, Florida…  make arrangements to visit Key West also which is just about 4-hour drive from Pembroke Pines, FL on a Sunday.

Shopping & Traveling

We visited Jacksonville and St. Augustine Florida just this weekend…A good way to end the sometimes-sweltering & sometimes-downpour month of July – TRAVEL and SHOP. First stop was the "base" (not sure exactly of the real name) which is like subic and clark in terms of its tax-free shopping & discounted prices. I found something that I always wanted to have, a straw/toyo hat that I wanna pair with my safari outfit and sunday dresses=) We then headed to old Fernandina/historical Fernandina for our pictorial galore ehhehe. On our second day, we went to Jacksonville Landing for more sight-seeing then drove around the oldest city in the US – St. Augustine. St. Augustine’s old spanish-building styles reflected the era of colonization and Catholicism brought about by the Spaniards. St. Augustine is like Intramuros & Castillo de San Marcos is like Fort. Santiago.

Our trip can’t end without shopping of course…so the final destination before the long drive back home was the Premium Factory Outlets along I-95. When traveling, I always look for signature branded bags, shoes, watches, wallets, jackets, perfumes and sunglasses that I wouldn’t normally buy on any regular shopping day (eheheh blame it on my vacation mood – taking a break from being stingy and having classy purchases for me to remember the extraordinary days when i wear or use the items that i bought); a nice dress would also be nice but they’re not always on my agenda unless I’m buying pasalubong for people I love and accidentally found something i like as well that are at least 40% off the original price. But that day I considered extraordinary because I had at least 95 outlet stores to visit and i received $100 from a friend of my mom (tita paz) to spend as i please (yoohoo! hello shopping). Time was too limited so my mentality became glanced-the-store-name-and-if-it-doesn’t-ring-a-bell-then-proceed-to-the-next. I’m just so glad i found a guess sunglass worth 50% less the orginal price and a nine-west stiletto sandal with 75% off. I also purchased something girly and sexy for my ate kuleng from calvin klein c’;) The only thing that didn’t go perfect for me was I didn’t get to buy a dress watch because the guy from the store couldn’t adjust the watch’s bracelet to fit perfectly on my wrist…not something that will dampen my mood though, there will still be more places to visit and more stores to shop around soon.

Quirky- a prose on Death and Love

            "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" – Matthew 11:28

Breathe … Breathe … Breathe … just a simple inhale and exhale …

Ok … to warn you, I’m not giving birth, I’m not even pregnant for goodness sake! Why are you making me breathe like I’m in … in labor or something?

Because … you need to regulate the flow of oxygen into your brain … C’mon now, you’re having a panic attack.       

A panic attack? … But why? What do I have to be afraid of … or panicky about … or whatever … ?I’m not dying am I?

Well it depends … what does dying or death means to you anyway?   

Why are you asking me this question … ? I just feel that I’m suffocating or something … like a part of me … my heart … is being torn apart, excruciating … like you want to seal it … and …and … freeze it, just so it will get numb … then I won’t have to feel pain. Is not feeling anything be like dying and death?            

Hmmm … let’s see. Actually there are two kinds of death; one being the physical death and the other is spiritual death also known as eternity in Hell … Revelations 20:14 "Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death" … whatever kind of death you are referring though … you will always feel … the feeling will remain just as I told you in Luke’s Lazarus and the Rich Man … the first death … the death of the body is just a snap … a passing into something … something wonderful or something horrible. It will be your choice …

(sobbing now) I’m terrified … I kept on seeing flashes of that ghastly accident a month ago … of his body lying limp and drenched in blood. I kept on praying and praying for him to wake up … I thought I lost him forever, and the agony of reapeating the pain over and over again freaks me out … what if it happened again? … what if next time around he’ll be gone? what will happen to our love so strong and pure … of promises so genuinely spoken?

Fear won’t fix things … you’re just precociously worrying about the end of something that could define or be the best days of your life … both your lives on earth. And I don’t approve of worrying … coz truthfully, you can’t predict what will happen, much less avoid it. You love him don’t you?

Of course I do … you need not have ask … (pouting but a little calmer now)

I know … I know, you know and he knows too … a love as wholly and unselfishly given will not end "Love never fails" (1 Cor. 13:8) … it’s just a matter of trusting that love and MY LOVE … I think you already know what to do … I’ll always be here if you forget it again.                                                                                               

How to make Your Partner Happy…

I just wanna share last sunday’s topic at our church eventhough I know most of you are still single coz’ I feel that we will all need this information 5 or so years down the road of relationships and marriages… the timing couldn’t be more perfect for me I guess, made me feel that I’m in a marriage seminar or something…oh well, here it goes

Wife/Girlfriend’s greatest needs that MEN should fulfill:

1. Affection
2. Meaningful Conversation
3. Honesty & Openness
4. Financial Security
5. Family Commitment

***My insight: romance and the feeling of being valued and cherished will make us women happy. I didn’t get to hear the message for how to make women happy so I hate to elaborate on the points given with my own opinions.

Husband/Boyfriend’s greatest needs that WOMEN should fulfill:

1. Sexual Fulfillment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. An Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration

*** What I learned from the message of pastor Pete Tokar, Jr.:

• a Husband can only ethically, morally and spiritually satisfy the first need with his wife, so it’s the wife’s duty to make sure her husband doesn’t get frustrated with the lack of sex.
• Men will always be kids who like to play and have fun so it is ideal to make a list of activities that you and your partner can both enjoy thus lessening the time apart when the men would want to go to their buddies to have some recreational manly fun. Also, girls keep in mind that when your men are in the recreational phase … don’t ambush them with problems. Time for meaningful conversation needed by the wife/gf should be different from the husband’s/bf’s time for recreation.
• a Man wants a wife/gf they can be proud to show around. Note: Women should not obsessed themselves trying to look like a picture-perfect model, they just need to look clean, young and fresh by using make-up, getting the right haircut, putting the right clothes, and prioritizing personal hygiene.
• If the husband and wife are both working, the wife should ask the husband the primary domestic need he likes to be fulfilled (ie, delicious meal, ironed clothes) and fulfill that, then agree on how to divide the rest of the household chores between the two of you.
• a Man likes to be rewarded with praise and treats for things that he did, it motivates him and makes him more confident on what he can do. — so don’t nag (ouchhhh) ehehehe